Friday, February 11, 2011

I Could Never Have Imagined...

I could never have imagined that I would be driving in a car with the son of the man I loved. That I would be dating a man with a child. Children were a deal breaker for me but then love does things to your mind, to your resolve.


"My father loves you, you know," Cameron says. Cameron is the thirteen year old son of my current boyfriend, Alex. We are driving home from a movie. It was good bonding time for Cameron and me. At Cameron's words, I grip the steering wheel as my heart does a little flip. I focus on the road in front of me.


"He loved Amber, too," I say. Amber was Alex's ex-girlfriend of 5 years.


"True."


"Your father loves easily."


"Is that so bad?"


I shrug. "I guess not, if you look at it in a certain light." It is what makes Alex such a natural romantic - I think.


"Love is good," Cameron says.


"It is. You're lucky to have a Dad who adores you."


"I know. Though he can get a little crazy sometimes. All nervous and sensitive over nothing, you know?"


"Well, you know those actor types," I joke. Alex is an actor.


Cameron laughs. We often joke about his Dad's profession.


"Or should I say those Dad types," I added.


Cameron chuckles and I smile. Suddenly the image of my father - tall, brown-skinned in his long, black wool coat appears before me. Sadness pools in my chest. Suddenly I am seeing my mother with her long, straight hair with the golden brown highlights standing next to him. They are dressed in their Sunday finest. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes. Funny, how clearly I remember them, fifteen years after they died.


They had loved me just as much as Cameron's dad loved him - with that fierce, fierce love. And I loved them back just as fiercely. I was their only child.


Suddenly, I realize in the moment that I love Alex just that strongly and that I am truly beginning to love Cameron in that way, too. I haven't felt a love like that for anyone since my parents. I smile at my Mom's gentle face as she smiles back at me. I could hear a voice.


"Kayla! Kayla!" It is Cameron.


"Kayla, watch out! That guy's driving right towards us!"


The vision of my parents clears and I see a white Ferrari speeding towards us in our lane. He is going the wrong way.


What?
I turn the steering wheel, causing the car to swerve to the right, off the road and onto hard dirt. The car jumps a little, then hits something hard. I feel a vibration through the steering wheel and the car begins to flip over. I think of Alex.


Then the whole world shifted.


This is in response to a writing prompt at Red Writing Hood : to write a piece using no more than 600 words, beginning with the words, "I could never have imagined" and end it with the words "Then the whole world shifted."

Constructive criticism welcomed.

14 comments:

  1. Good Lord, woman! A VERY scary ending! I love the way the memory of the parents and their love makes her realize she has that kind of love with Alex - and Cameron. I hope it's not too late! Ack!

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  2. I know! I didn't realize how scary the ending came across as I was writing this piece. I think that's because I already knew the outcome (which is not written here) and its definitely positive. :-))

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  3. I'm glad I came here after you've confessed to a happy ending!

    I was worried about Kayla and Cameron, and Alex, where ever he is during this outing.

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  4. Yikes!!! That totally sucked me in. Great job

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  5. GF, this was a gorgeous read! I was right there with you- puling for the relationship, the love and the memories. And the "ending?" Absolutely perfect!

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  6. I loved it Mel! I was completely into the storyline.

    Karen T.

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  7. This was great! I really loved the relationship she was building with the teenaged son. It was honest and almost as a peer, you know? I loved how he could talk to her and really open up. It showed, without having to write it, that she's really accepted being a stepmom even if she never thought it would happen.

    She's also showing a little reluctance to dive into the relationship. It makes me want to know more about her and about Alex. Is she the grounded to his artistic?

    The only thing - and it's totally minor - that I would change is maybe delete one or two of the "suddenly's" halfway through.

    Other than that, great pacing, wonderful drama and a cliffhanging ending. Awesome.

    (Visiting from TRDC.)

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  8. Excellent writing. Just enough dialogue and plenty of intrigue. I really enjoyed reading this story.

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  9. I love that they were both learning about Alex through their conversation and able to give each other perspective on the man that they both clearly love so much.

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  10. great job! glad to see you jumping in! hope you'll be back!

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  11. Wow - great story! My pulse picked up for sure! The mark of a tale well told, I think.

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  12. Ooooh good one! At first I was confusing real life until I figured out it was a RWH post.

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  13. yay! I was right there in the car. Loved the description and your dialogue.

    visiting from RDC

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  14. OK, now I'm terrified for that kid. (I read the series backwards.) I absolutely love your use of dialogue. The way you reveal Alex's past through Kayla and Cameron's dialogue makes him plausible as a character.

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