Monday, April 23, 2012

Missing That Career...

Seven years ago I officially stepped away from my production career film/television because I was about to give birth to a baby six months down the road.

I remember walking through the set of the indie film I was working on, clipboard in hand (I was a producer on this particular production) thinking about my pregnancy.  I hadn't told my friends and colleagues in the industry at the time and wasn't planning to.  No need to alert the media at that point and I didn't want anything to distract from my fairly new role as producer.

This would be my last film I knew as the husband and I agreed that it was a good time to step away.  I would so miss it.  I was on this  career track, working my way up to being a producer in film production and I would have to put it aside for awhile.

It made me a little sad but I was happy with my decision.  I was going to be a mama soon and that baby would need me more than any set cast and crew ever would.  Of course in the back of my mind, I would wonder "What will happen to my career?", "Will I be so behind when I decided to step back onto this track?"

I thought of two of my close friends in the business at the time - both like me, working in film and television and on the same track I was on, who were single at the time.  I thought of how their careers will continue to grow while mine's will be on pause - at least for a time.

I was watching a news segment the other day on mothers working in the television industry that highlighted three producers at CNN and my heart clenched.  They were successful, enjoying their work as producers and enjoying their children even as they faced the challenge of juggling it all.

I thought to myself while watching the segment that could have been me.  My career would have been at that point possibly or even close to it.  I could've been that successful mom producer/writer working in the film/t.v. industry.

My heart clenched mainly because I missed that production career.

However, deep in my heart, I don't regret the last seven years I stayed home with my boys working as their full-time Mom.  I do in moments feel like I've disappointed my independent, career minded mother who expected major accomplishments from me in the world of film production.  Not that it's too late, though I am not getting any younger.

Three kiddos later, the prospect of stepping back into the production world for me is a scary one.  How behind will I be?  I still  love it as much as I love my writing.  Honestly I can't see any other working career for me along with the writing career that I had been pursuing alongside that production career all those years earlier.

I've stepped back on the path of that writing career which excites me to no end.  I'm faithful that there will be accomplishments within it.

I won't lie though.  I do miss that production career.  So much, at times, it hurts.

In moments, I feel like I don't know where to begin on that path again now that we're here in Colorado.  I'm not living in or near New York City as I was seven years ago where the opportunities are plenty.   I'm in Colorado where the pickin's exist but aren't as plentiful.  Where film production is limited.

Besides, timing wise, it's just not feasible to do it on a full-time basis.

If I had to do it over again, I would make the same decision to step away and be that mother full-time, but I can't help in moments feeling like I'm missing out.  I'm not waking up mornings and going to work as that "producer/writer", heading to a production office, surrounding myself with colleagues like me.

There's a time for everything.  I get that.  This is my season for being this stay-at-home mother.  I'm enjoying it.  This time with the boys - so, so important and so needed.

In the moment, it is good and it is enough.

My season for becoming that established writer is now here and I'm on that path.

The season for me to be that producer again can come around, again.

But for all that is happening right now, where I'm at, all is well.

I need to remind myself of that, constantly.

All is well and it is enough.

Full time mothers out there - do you miss your career?  Do you think you'll be going back, you think?  Do you want to go back?  

Friday, April 20, 2012


The trees are beginning to bloom in our backyard.

The blossoms coming in. 

More cool signs that spring has come to Colorado. 

A mixture of blooms in various colors

Of course those two evergreens in the center can boast

that they never lost their needles 

even as the other trees were shedding their leaves last fall. 

Purple, yellow, white and green 

peeking behind and leaning over 

our backyard fence. 

Blossoms, fairly new

hanging wild and free. 

Joining in with the Leap into Spring! Photo Challenge: a six-week photography challenge aimed at capturing the beauty of spring. 

This week's theme: Blossoms/Trees

spring photography challenge, kristi live and love out loud photo challenge, project alicia photo challenge, bumbles and light photo challenge,

Monday, April 16, 2012

A Room of Their Own

Two Saturdays ago, we put up the bunk bed - we made good on a promise to our older boys months ago.

It took Daddy six hours to put together but he did it.

Our two big boys (ages 7 and 4) went from small beds to a bunk bed.


our Toddler of 2 years old got his first ever Big Boy bed.

My heart turns to mush at this.

All three of my babies just keep growing up.

Joining in with Galit at These Little Waves and Alison at Mama Wants This!  with their Memories Captured. 

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Easter With Eggs

Another Easter for my three boys.

Complete with eggs that each of the three boys were able to color the night before The Big Day.

Not to mention a little family Easter Egg hunt in the backyard that next day with the two older boys.

A search for eggs.

One found egg.

One egg still hidden.

One Easter Egg hunt accomplished.

Joining in the Leap Into Spring Photo Challenge.
This week's theme: Easter/Eggs

spring photography challenge, kristi live and love out loud photo challenge, project alicia photo challenge, bumbles and light photo challenge,

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

On The Hunt

This was Sunday.

A family Easter Egg hunt in the backyard.

Our first one ever.

A sweet time.

Joining in on Sweet Shot Tuesday with Darcy at Life With My3 Boybarians.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Signs of Spring...

Sunshine and light.

Spring-like weather these days.

I'm hoping it's here to stay.  

Here, in Colorado, the weather can be unpredictable.  

We get snow in May at times.

For now, though,  it's sunshine and warm temperatures.  

And lots and lots of light. 

Signs of spring.

Surround my house. 

My heart is happy.

spring photography challenge, kristi live and love out loud photo challenge, project alicia photo challenge, bumbles and light photo challenge,