Thursday, February 17, 2011

Found - A Handkerchief

I walked into a huge room - the master bedroom. More browns and beiges, dark woods made up the dresser and tall wardrobe standing across from the bed.


I made every effort to be quiet as I walked past the king size bed towards the closet. Though I knew there was no one else in the house, I still didn't want to take the chance of being caught. The closet stretched the length of half the room. It had two dark mahagony wood panelled doors, each with a square shaped knob on it. I opened both doors to the elaborate closet. Beautiful, expensive suits in browns and blacks hung neatly, one behind the other. Above on the shelf, boxes were arranged in a row. I figured they held ties, tie pins, cuff links and the such. I grabbed the first box and began my search. I was right. The tie pins, the cuff links were arranged neatly in this box - ornate items, all in metallic shades of bronze and gold. Nothing out of the ordinary.


I put the first box back and grabbed the second. In it were more ties, neatly folded of various striped, paisley and criss-cross patterns. Digging through, once again, nothing out of the ordinary. I went through two more boxes with the same result.


I put the last box back on the shelf and found it wouldn't go all the way in. It was hitting against something. I pulled it off and reached my hand up, putting it on the shelf, feeling around. I felt another box - a little smaller than the others and pulled it down.


I put the larger box I had in my hand back and focused in on this one. I pulled off the lid and noticed the usual that I had been finding. I rifled through, my mind half on the task at hand and half on what I should concentrate on next in this investigation when I touched on a white handkerchief with gold trim. There were initials embroidered on one corner: SK. SK?


Things suddenly became crystal clear. I pored eagerly through the rest of the contents of the box - two gold cuff links with the same initials of SK engraved on them, a silk tie, and lastly a gold watch. I looked it over on the outside, then on the inside. Engraved on the inside were the words: "To my youngest son, Solomon Keith...". A shot of adrenaline went through me. I was still clutching the handkerchief.


Solomon Keith Guthrie. The latest victim of the Crescent City serial killer.


I had finally hit the jackpot. My hunch had been right and the house I now stood in belonged to a killer. I shook my head, a huge grin spreading across my face.


I had the proof I needed. Now to cinch this case.


This post is in response to a prompt at Red Writing Hood that asks to write about finding a lost article of clothing in the back of a drawer or closet including information on how the item was found, what it is, and why it's so meaningful to you or your character.

16 comments:

  1. Ooh. I love it! I want more! This was so well written, even when I had no idea what kind of stry it was going to be.

    First I thought you were a "child" and your parents had another kid or something like that. ;)

    Great stuff!

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  2. I liked the imagery of the items. They help to paint a picture of the story.

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  3. I love the turn this took, it really came out of left field! The first 3/4 of the story were so well written, the imagery was so strong.

    Which was why the sudden turn without any further backstory was so jarring for me. I feel that if there was a little more there, maybe a very brief description of the killer's crimes & the protagonist's involvement with the case, this would be pretty darn close perfect. Just my two cents!

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  4. I like it! I love a good mystery.

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  5. JenB: I so agree with you on me giving a little more re: protagonist! I felt like I could've slipped in a little more info in the beginning in regards to the protagonist's involvement that would make the shift in events seem a little more organic to the scene.

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  6. WOW. I feel like you just hit me upside the head with one of those ties. I. Never. Saw. It. Coming.

    You really got something here and I hope you intend to finish it because I have GOT to know what happened!

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  7. Ooh..a mystery. Very interesting!!

    a tiny concrit: you start all but one of the sentences with the word "I." Varying that will help with flow.

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  8. Ack! What if the killer COMES HOME? What a great cliffhanger!

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  9. I'm with Ginny Marie -- as soon as you revealed the twist, I felt a leap of panic -- what if the killer returns?!

    Nicely done!

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  10. What a great story!
    My first reaction too is for the detective to get out quick before he gets caught!
    Totally delicious reading-it left me with goose bumps!

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  11. Ladies, thanks for your comments! I enjoyed writing this piece. It is actually part of a bigger story that I hope one day to get published so stay tuned...

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  12. Ooh! I like how this one ended! Totally different than I initially thought, but then, when I re-read it, I saw the clues.

    Awesome!

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  13. Ooh, a mystery. And a cliffhanger.

    So what happens next?

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