I realize what both my husband and I need is joy. More joy.
To enjoy life more with the kids. Cherish the moments instead of getting stressed out by them.
Today I had two fun, enjoyable events to go to. I felt like I should have been more positive, more happy and yet my joy was tempered.
Tempered by what?
My husband at home sick with the three boys.
The house being a complete disaster.
The two tasks we have for church in the morning: serving breakfast and teaching the kids, the latter we are not completely prepared for.
The worry about tomorrow - will the husband be well enough to teach? And if he is not, how will I convey the help I need? By the fact that there are several details to remember for tomorrow and I am afraid I am going to forget one of them and they are each important.
These worries are why I couldn't fully enjoy the baby shower I went to this afternoon, though I had fun.
I figured as I was driving from the baby shower, that I need to lean on God more. Surrender. A challenge for me and the husband since we're both by default self-reliant people.
And be 100% in the moment.
Don't worry about tomorrow.
Just focus on what's in front of me today and cherish.