Sunday, December 18, 2011

Be Enough...Love...

As I live my life every day, mainly as wife to a wonderful husband and mother to three boys, my flaws make themselves known and how they are so hard to look it.

My imperfections glare at me.

The insecurity that fills me as I walk and live among other mothers, other women.

The frustration that creeps out as I deal with the challenging situations that crop up.

The impatience that rears its ugly head as I deal with the various temperaments of my kiddos.

The sharpness that comes from my tongue whenever I respond to situations and people.  Not to mention that sarcasm that laces my words when I talk to my children along with the snappish comebacks I give to my husband.

Not good.  Not good at all.

I am full of holes.

It humbles me and makes me realize how much I need my God for help and other people for advice.

These flaws show me where I can't ever boast about how great I am.

This is good.

It shows me that I am human and I need to accept those weaknesses in me along with my strengths.  That as I grow and try to be better, I am okay.

The way I am is who I am and that is enough.

These flaws help me focus on the things I do get right.

Like love.

Love I can do well.

The love for my husband and boys is fierce and strong and unwavering even in the tough times.

The love they have for me is unconditional and forgiving.

The love God has for me is beyond words.

Because of this I love and this love is my strength.

It's what I can give freely.

To all who are around me and to those far away - family, other moms, neighbors, friends.

Though I am flawed in all kinds of ways, this I can do.

And for me...this is enough.

Being me, with all my holes, is enough.

Because being able to love well and deeply makes it so.

Linking up with Just Be Enough this Monday which celebrates you just being you.  

Friday, December 16, 2011


This is the latest piece in the story of Alex and Kayla's which I began here and continues here, here and here.


Okay.    Kayla sighed, as she moved her eyes around as she took in her darkness.

She was exhausted.  She was trying.

Kayla baby, hang on.  Hang on.  I love you. 

She could hear Alex's voice.  She had been hearing him for the longest time now.  So comforting yet filled with heartbreak.

He missed her.

Every time she heard his voice, an ache would run through her - deep and gut wrenching.   She missed him just as much.

She would then try to open her eyes but found herself trapped in this darkness.

Along with Alex's voice, she was now hearing other voices: Cameron, Alex's son.  The nurses - she could tell it was them in the way they spoke to Alex.  Marlon - Alex's manager.  Friends, even though there were moments she confused Tracey with Genevieve.  The boys - Seth and Zane - the two-thirds of the jazz trio she belonged to.  She remembered that fact just recently.  That she was a musician.  And a photographer.

Alex's voice made her remember that last fact.  With the sound of voices, came a memory or two, except for the nurses, of course, since she didn't know them at all.

 Kayla, honey, please wake up.  For me.  Sweet girl, please wake up. 

It was Alex again.  His deep tone edged with his New Zealand accent was filled with heartbreak again. It cracked.  He was crying.  Again.

Her heart clenched.

Oh Alex.  I'm trying.  I'm trying. 

She remembered how she would do almost anything for him, she loved him so much.  This was no exception.

Okay.  Another try.  

Kayla strained as she tried to force her eyes open.


Tears threatened behind her eyes.

Alex, I'm trying.  I'm trying.  Almost there.

Almost there. 

This piece is inspired by a prompt from Write on Edge which asks us write a piece of fiction or creative non-fiction about a countdown, starting with “Three, two, one.”

Write On Edge: Red-Writing-Hood

Monday, December 5, 2011

A Memory Captured

There are those moments that are frozen in time by digital.  I'm thankful to have a good number of those thanks to the kiddos I have.  One such moment is below.

You see, my baby, is growing up.  In these last weeks he's been maturing at what seems like light speed.  This toddler is soaking it all in and expressing it all out in his walking, his talking, his memory, his personality.  

Sweet boy is growing fast as he's discovering the world, in all his purity. 

One such moment is below.  Just in an instant, while my back was turned, he climbed in the chair and started typing on the computer.

Yeah, like it was the most natural thing in the world.  He moved that computer mouse around too.  So grown-up.  He was on his computer like his Mommy.   And loving it. 


In my mind's eye, though, he will always be this. 

Just linking up with Galit at These Little Waves and Alison at Mama Wants This! for their Memories Captured link celebrating those memories we get and hold dear. Feel free to link up and then go visit the others who have shared their gorgeous memories.  I promise, you will swoon.