Tuesday, September 27, 2011

My Baby is Growing Up...

We pulled into a Sonic Burger place and parked.

"Can I get out?"  My 4 year old asks.

"Yes," My husband replies.

The 4 year old unbuckled himself and opened the door of the SUV and jumped out.

Say what???

"He's four," the Husband reminds me.

Okay, yes, I know, but like, when did that happen and why so fast?

When did he learn how to do that?  Not too long ago he was lying in his rear-facing car seat staring into a mirror wondering who that face was looking back at him.

Now he's looking in the rearview mirror back at me with a big grin while I'm driving.

"Hey Mom, Mom," he says.  "I'm going to make a machine that takes all the shots [as in vaccinations] of the world and makes them disappear so we don't have to get them."


"Mom, mom.  What would happen if a plane had no engine?  What would happen to it?"


My baby - my precious middle son - is growing up...

My heart clenches.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

To Push Or Not To Push...

So I admit I am feeling a little guilty.

And slightly annoyed that I'm even feeling this guilt.

Because my 6 year old boy has now been home from school for two days because he has not been feeling well.  He's dealing with multiple cold sores in his mouth and all over his lips.  He's miserable.  He can't eat because it hurts too much.

Yet he's not in a serious illness situation.  He's just feeling miserable.  

We went to soccer practice yesterday -- in the park, two steps from our home -- because I thought I should get him out in the fresh air and maybe he'd be better for playing.   He practiced for 5 minutes total and sat down the rest of the time,  because he was feeling so out of it.

I felt so bad because I feel like I put him in a funky situation.

I don't think the coaches quite understood his slowness and lethargy when they were expecting him to be involved 100%.  It was almost obvious that maybe we should've stayed home, though secretly, I wanted the coaches to see that he's there - he's committed to this thing, he was just sick.  Even he wished he could do more.  Truly, he is not a slacker.

Why did I feel like I had to prove that?

Maybe I pushed it just a little?

Now this morning, I look in the school newsletter and see that the school is in the midst of these important pupil count days (that started September 23rd) where they need all the students to really be in attendance so they can garner the funding they need.  I get it.  I'm on the PTA Executive Committee.  I understand the need for funding for our school and making every effort to get it.

Both older boys were out yesterday, my oldest is out today.

Should I have pushed the older one to go to school today?   He doesn't have a serious illness yet he's miserable and I'm thinking one more day of rest could certainly do some good right?  Yet, I don't want to be part of any obstacle that prevents our school from getting the funding they need.

Why do I even feel this pressure?

Really, why am I feeling guilty because my boy's sick and at home?

Like I'm the Slacker Parent.

Why does it sometimes come down to numbers and performance over health and well-being?

Pouring my heart out today over at Shell's...

Friday, September 16, 2011

First Soccer Game on A Warm Afternoon...

The 6 year old participated in his first soccer game this afternoon.

It was a beautiful afternoon - one huge green field, the mountains bathed in sunlight as the backdrop, temperate weather.

Our boy did well.  He was into it.  And he scored a goal.  His first one. Sweet!

And he blocked a ball from going into the field goal - some good defense.  More importantly, he went up to his friend, after the game, and told him "Good Game".   Most importantly, besides having fun, he reigned in his competitive side.  No tackling the other team members, though he did have a few words for them.

His team lost but all the kids were in good spirits.  They learned more about soccer today.  They had treats/snacks afterwards.

Our boys played around for a bit, rolling down the grassy hill.

Then, we walked back to the car, the mountains in front of us, having spent quality time together as a family on a good afternoon.


Monday, September 12, 2011

These Magical Moments...

Just linking up with Shell at Things I Can't Say and sharing a few magical moments.  

There have been a few special ones for our family...

Like the special brotherly love moments...

On a hotel bed as we travelled cross country
(my oldest at  2.5 years w/ my middle at 3 weeks old)

1st time in Colorado in our new apartment, two days later...

And then throw in a third boy... and there's more brotherly love...

 Couch Antics 

More Couch Antics

Not to mention the Graduating From Kindergarten moment...

And the Gymnastics Show Week Moment (on the uneven bars)...

Not to be trumped by the 1st Trip in Seven Years Just-the-Two-of-Us Alone Moment...

 We've had a few.  

What are your magical moments?  Just link up at Shell's....

Sunday, September 11, 2011

In the Thick of It: One 9-11 Memory

"A plane flew into one of the Trade Center towers."  That came from one of the engineers who just walked into the office.  I was on my way back to my desk.

Me, an administrative assistant temp about to train the new hire, working in an engineering firm near the United Nations building in Manhattan.

The new hire turned on the radio.  It was all we had, as the t.v. in the conference room was broken.  We gathered around the radio - the two admins and about five engineers.  

An accident at the World Trade?  A couple of the engineers went to make calls to their colleagues for the Port Authority (housed in the World Trade Center) was one of our clients.

We listened.  Suddenly the reporter's voice became frantic.  "A plane just slammed into the South tower! A plane just hit the South Tower!"

My hand went over my mouth and there was a collective jolt from the seven of us.  This was no accident.

I called my husband.  We made a plan to meet at noon downstairs in front of my building.  I tried my mother numerous times but couldn't get through.

I remember walking past the huge floor to ceiling window that faced south down towards the World Trade Center and saw a mass of people making their way uptown.  A mass exodus on the ground...huge mass of dark smoke in the air.  Eerie.

So for the next two hours gruesome events unfolded from the radio....the Pentagon was hit...the South tower collapsing, then the North tower...flight 93 going down in Pennsylvania...

The anger...the fear that overcame us.  Were we next?  We were right next store to the United Nations - a likely target.

A gathering in the conference room of all the employees...ranting, raving, cursing, questioning.

I headed downstairs at 12:05.  Walked through the empty lobby and through the front doors and towards my husband who waited for me outside.

Hand in hand we made our way through the crowded streets filled with walking people...people who had been down there and walked up, people who evacuated their buildings...people as stunned and confused as we were.    We passed through thick throngs of people as we made our way several blocks downtown and over to the East side to seek shelter in a friend's apartment.  The subways were shut down and we couldn't get home.

The memory of this morning and those thereafter...going home on the subway to Washington Heights surrounded by people covered in ash and soot, the stunned looks on all our faces...walking by St. Vincent's hospital at night...quiet...the medical staff waiting for the ambulances to come...but none were coming...will always remain.

A day we'll never forget.   A time that will always be with us.

Friday, September 9, 2011

It's Been Awhile...

It's been awhile...

...since I've blogged or been consistently reading your blogs...

It's been a crazy week and a half...a friend passing away, a sudden trip out of state to her memorial service, and all the flurry of making trip arrangements for both the husband and I and my mother-in-law who graciously dropped everything at the last minute and flew out from California to take care of our butterscotch babies while we were gone.  

Not to mention all the emotions in between.

The weekend is coming and I'm hoping to get back into the blog groove again with writing my blogs (what possessed me to have more than one?) and reading yours, though life doesn't seem to be coming to a stop any time soon...

But I can't wait to connect with you all again...

I need it.