Friday, July 29, 2011

Cola Goodness Revisited

This is a rewrite of Cola Goodness...

She's a nut, my partner, Sophie.  Doesn't she know that stuff can burn a hole through a car hood?  Imagine what it's doing to her stomach.  

I sit across from her at McDonald's.  Lunch time.   She already had two cans of Coke this morning - who drinks Coke in the mornings?  Now she is drinking it from a Supersize cup. 

"I'm surprised you don't have holes in your stomach from where the acid is burning.  Or holes in your teeth, " I say, looking pointedly at her drink.

"What?"  She rolls her eyes.  "It's just Coke.  Besides, this is it for me today."

"Okay." I give her a doubtful look.  She makes that empty promise to herself daily.  

"It is!"


Two hours later, we walk towards the car on our way back  from viewing a crime scene.  We pass a bodega.  I make a detour towards it.  I could use a KitKat.

"I'm just going to grab something," I say. "You want anything?"

"A Coke."  Of course.  

I raise my eyebrows.  "I thought the Supersize was it for the day." 

She grimaces.  "This is an exception.  That body was gruesome.  Need a pick-me-up"

"Every body is gruesome."

"Thank goodness for Coke," she says and winks. 

I shake my head and walk in. 


Two hours later, back at the precinct, we both sit our desks, stumped.  This current case baffles us.  

"Should we just go to the board?" she asks. 

"Yeah," I say. "Maybe that will trigger something."  

We both stand. 

Sophie takes a sip from her lunchtime Supersized Coke cup.  She shakes it.  It's empty.  

"I'll be back," she says.  I look at her, then at her cup. 

"You want anything?  Another Kit-Kat? It'll be your third one today."  She looks at me pointedly. 

I sigh.  Chocolate is not as bad as that carbonated poison.  I throw her a dollar.  

"Yeah, sure."  

She walks towards the vending machine.  


It's 11pm and I lay back on my bed.  What a day.  Just got home minutes ago.  Sophie and I needed to call it quits since we weren't making any new progress on the case.  

I sigh  and the taste of chocolate appears on my tongue.  

Aw, what the heck.  

I get off the bed and head into the kitchen to grab a KitKat from my stash up in the cabinet by the sink. 

This piece is inspired by a writing prompt at the Red Dress Club which asks us to go back in the archives of our blog, pick a fiction or nonfiction piece and do a complete overhaul.  

Red Writing Hood