Wednesday, September 21, 2011

To Push Or Not To Push...

So I admit I am feeling a little guilty.

And slightly annoyed that I'm even feeling this guilt.

Because my 6 year old boy has now been home from school for two days because he has not been feeling well.  He's dealing with multiple cold sores in his mouth and all over his lips.  He's miserable.  He can't eat because it hurts too much.

Yet he's not in a serious illness situation.  He's just feeling miserable.  

We went to soccer practice yesterday -- in the park, two steps from our home -- because I thought I should get him out in the fresh air and maybe he'd be better for playing.   He practiced for 5 minutes total and sat down the rest of the time,  because he was feeling so out of it.

I felt so bad because I feel like I put him in a funky situation.

I don't think the coaches quite understood his slowness and lethargy when they were expecting him to be involved 100%.  It was almost obvious that maybe we should've stayed home, though secretly, I wanted the coaches to see that he's there - he's committed to this thing, he was just sick.  Even he wished he could do more.  Truly, he is not a slacker.

Why did I feel like I had to prove that?

Maybe I pushed it just a little?

Now this morning, I look in the school newsletter and see that the school is in the midst of these important pupil count days (that started September 23rd) where they need all the students to really be in attendance so they can garner the funding they need.  I get it.  I'm on the PTA Executive Committee.  I understand the need for funding for our school and making every effort to get it.

Both older boys were out yesterday, my oldest is out today.

Should I have pushed the older one to go to school today?   He doesn't have a serious illness yet he's miserable and I'm thinking one more day of rest could certainly do some good right?  Yet, I don't want to be part of any obstacle that prevents our school from getting the funding they need.

Why do I even feel this pressure?

Really, why am I feeling guilty because my boy's sick and at home?

Like I'm the Slacker Parent.

Why does it sometimes come down to numbers and performance over health and well-being?

Pouring my heart out today over at Shell's...