Friday, June 24, 2011

Life...



In this piece, I revisit characters from an earlier piece I wrote.  The following continues from where that piece left off.  


-----


A painful breath in.  A throbbing ache in her head.  Silence all around.

A memory.  Car rushing towards them.  Rolling over.  A hard thud, then stillness.

Cameron slumped in the passenger seat beside her.  Desperate panic rushed through her then.

God, let him be alright. 


Despair.

Oh, Alex.  I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean to get your precious son hurt.  Not on my watch.  


Tears filled her eyes.

I love your son.  As much as I love you. 


She tried to move, but couldn't.  Took another breath in and then the pain in her head went sharp.  Darkness rushed in like an ocean wave.

*

A knot of worry the size of the Earth lodged itself in his chest.  Alex was about to shoot a scene when the call came for him.

"Alex?"  That was his manager who drove the car they sat in now.

He shook his head.  He didn't have a voice.

The car stopped in front of the hospital.

*

Twenty minutes later, Alex sat in the stark hospital room.

"Alex, do you want anything?"  His manager again.

He shook his head again.  Still no voice.

He couldn't muster one when the doctor spoke to him a few minutes ago, either.

Thoughts ran wild with worry in his head, but still...no voice.

He stared at the still woman lying before him, tears in his eyes.   His son was going to be okay, thank God, but Kayla, lying still in her beauty, they weren't sure.

Life. So precious.  So fleeting. 


That morning, Kayla was vibrant - full of life as he hugged her close and kissed her lips.  Now, here she was, barely holding onto it.

Alex leaned down and hugged her tight, pressing his cheek against hers, his lips against hers.

Kayla, baby, hang on.  Hang on.  


Live. 




This piece is inspired by a prompt from The Red Dress Club which asks you to write a flash fiction piece inspired by the word "Life".







Concrit welcomed. 

7 comments:

  1. This absolutely gave me goosebumps at the end. You could totally feel the love and loss and helplessness through the entire piece from each character.

    Great writing!!

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  2. Heartbreaking! You could totally feel the despair..

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  3. I agree with the other comments, that you could feel the emotion throughout, and the last part really got to me as well. Nicely done.

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  4. I love it Mel, especially that final word.

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  5. A definite attention grabber! Can't wait for the next installment (though I was disappointed in that you let us know it would be a happy ending).
    A "spoiler alert" would make me happy for next time.

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  6. Oh wait - I'm doing this backwards. I'm really really worried about the son. I'm going to have to go back to the most recent one and see if his name shows up. The fact that Alex is worried about HER suggests that, yes, his child is OK. (Not that he wouldn't be worried about her if his son wasn't OK, but that the grief would be tinged a different way, I think.)

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