Tuesday, February 7, 2012

An Urban Slice

"I like coffee, I like tea.
I like a colored boy and he likes me!
So step back white boy you don't shine
I'll get a colored boy to kick your behind...."

We stood outside on the elevated train platform at 174th Street in the Bronx. 

The four girls were standing North, South, East, West facing each other playing the familiar handclapping game, their brown skin glistening in the sunshine, as their hands moved fast.

It was day camp and we were going to the pool today.

I watched as the long subway train came rushing towards us.

"Get ready, the train is comin!."  One camp counselor said.  There were about five of them and together, they worked to gather all of us kids, about forty between the ages of 7-10, in one close group.

"Cecily, girl, step your black butt away from the edge of the platform."  The counselor's tone was light and Cecily didn't take offense.  She just jumped back playfully, almost knocking into me.  Not that she noticed.

"Jamilah thinks she so cute," Ceciily said to another girl, Chrystal.  "Just cuz she got those new barrettes in her hair. I could get those!" 

"Me, too!" said Chrystal.

"I bet I could get even better ones.  We both could and look cuter than her."

Chrystal nodded, enthusiastically.


The train rushed before us, engulfing us in wind.  It stopped and the doors opened quickly.

We rushed in as a group, a few of the kids ahead of me scrambling for seats, their dark arms and legs, jostling all over the place.  As I moved quickly in I noticed the frowns of disdain on the people's faces that were seated already.

"Shoot, that's my foot!" Chrystal  whined.

"Girl, please, it's not like you was gonna fall," Cecily responded.

"I could've!"

 Cecily  sighed.  "Whateva!"

She rolled her eyes.

I sighed, not really looking forward to going to the pool.  My single mother put me in the neighborhood day camp during the summertimes while she worked days. 

As I moved along, rocking with the movement of the train, I thought, I'd rather be at home with Grandma.   I didn't always need to hang out with other kids.  

I kept quiet, not wanting to open my mouth because I wasn't in the mood to hear the girls tease me about how I talk "white".

So I just continued listening.




This piece is a slice of my life growing up in the Bronx.  It was inspired by a RemembeRED prompt at Write On Edge that asks write a piece of creative non-fiction in which turns of phrase, dialect, slang, or colloquialisms feature prominently.






Monday, January 30, 2012

It's 4:30p...

I am not the greatest person after 4:30p.  See here

Waking up at 6:00 in the morning and going throughout the day -- the tired rushes in around 4:00p (there's another period around 12 noon if I'm working my brain on the computer in the mornings).  When that tiredness rushes in...it's not pretty: impatience, low-tolerance, edginess.

The gabbing of the 6 year old doesn't seem so cheerful. 

The screams of the 22 month old is particularly sharp and almost unbearable. 

Strong, independent, childish opinions don't seem so admirable in the moment.


So I walk around -- trying to keep myself busy.  Goodness forbid if I sit.  The tiredness rushes in and the grouch comes out. 

I'm getting a little break from the kids in the moment.  They are elsewhere for the moment.  That helps.  However, I can't sit for long. 

I need to get up and move. 

Okay. 

Maybe I'll even get some coffee.  I try not to have too many cups in a day but I can't bring myself to do tea in the moment, so coffee it is. 

And onto the next project.

And maybe I'll take a couple of candids in between with the new camera. 

Unfortunately, the husband may be working late tonight so the hour and half before bedtime will be mine's alone. 

The toddler's pulling at me now. 

Sigh. 

Time to get moving. 

Time for that coffee now. 

Friday, January 20, 2012

Best Birthday Scoop Ever...



So today I turn forty-cough! That's just crazy because I don't feel a day over 29.  Truly.  Except when my kids have run me ragged and then I feel the opposite - yes, about 92.

However, it's turning out to be the best birthday ever...

Today I have the honor of being awarded The Best Scoop of the Week Award by my fellow Write On Edge writer, Stephanie over at The Scoop on Poop. Sweet!  She is an amazing writer,  blogger and stay at home mama of two who loves life and loves to laugh about it.  So definitely head on over to her place and pay her visit. 

And if  by chance is your first time here, welcome.  This blog, a continual work in progress, is representative of all aspects of me as a woman, a writer, a wife, a mother, and a city girl transplanted into an environment so unlike her roots that she has to blog about it.

Thanks for stopping by!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Flavor of the Month

She was the flavor of the month.  She knew it and didn't care.

It didn't matter that being Kyle Weston's girlfriends didn't last long.   She was his for the time being.

Kyle with the dark blue eyes and raven black wavy hair. His looks could be sinful or sweet depending on the smile he gave you.  Both smiles gave you butterflies.  Guaranteed.

Varsity quarterback and youngest son of the town's wealthiest family.  His sweet nature matched his looks but he couldn't commit.

His girlfriends came and went almost as fast as a revolving door.   However, the rich, aloof, well-mannered girls that were his type didn't mind.  Being on Kyle's arm meant everything.

Ruby.  Rich, strawberry blonde, she walked beside him down the hall, swaying prettily as he carried her designer backpack.

Her rosy lips smiled victorious as they walked by me while his beautiful full lips gave me a meaningful, sad smile.  Ruby chuckled.  She had caught his smile.  One of pity - she thought.

Me, Emma Lightfoot, with my rust colored skin and long, straight, dark hair - thick in its lushness.  My thin-rimmed glasses hid pretty expressive eyes.  Not pretty enough to be his flavor of any kind.  It didn't matter that I was smart and witty with a great sense of humor.

I was Native American and poor.  His family had their standards.


It was clear, though.

When he gazed at me from across the room at lunch later.

When I walked past his lunch table, and his hand reached out to caress mine softly.

When I walked to my old beat up white Ford pickup.  He had positioned himself within his little group of jock friends to face the parking lot.

I didn't look back but I knew he was watching me.

When I got in the driver's side and put my bag down, I sat for a moment and caressed the beautiful ring on my left ring finger.  It was made up of two strands of yellow gold intertwined and bordered on each side by a strand of white gold.

Kyle's flavors didn't get rings like this.

I looked up, out the driver's window and Kyle's eyes hit mine's.  Even when Ruby sauntered up to him and gave him a huge hug, his gaze remained locked to mine's.

It was very clear.

I was the true spice in Kyle's life.


This piece was inspired by a Red Writing Hood prompt from Write on Edge which asked that in four hundred words or less, write a piece based on the definition of the word "flavor". 


Friday, January 6, 2012

A New Year...A Guest Post



The holidays were so amazing.  We were able to travel back to California - a road trip, with my Mom in tow - and spend time with my husband's family, complete with my boys' great grandma.  We spent Christmas Eve eating fondue and on Christmas Day, there were presents galore for the boys.  A little anxiety on behalf of The Parents was thrown in because we weren't sure how the 4 year old would like his gift from Santa since it wasn't exactly what he asked for -- but he was happy all the same.

Now I'm back and starting off the New Year with a sweet bang.  Just.Be.Enough  is absolutely one of my favorite blogs and I have the honor to be guest posting there today.  It's a place where both men and women share stories that celebrate the individuality in all of us, and encourages that the individuality is enough.  

So come over and visit.  I share about parenting  - a topic that's close to my heart since I'm in the midst of it, trying to figure it all out.

A huge and special  thanks to Elena and the contributors at Just.Be.Enough for giving me this opportunity to share.


Hope your holidays were amazing, too.  Happy New Year and wishing you a good 2012!

Of course, when you get a free moment, hop over to Just.Be.Enough and check my story along with the other wonderful stories that are being shared.

You'll be amazed and encouraged, I promise you.


Sunday, December 18, 2011

Be Enough...Love...

As I live my life every day, mainly as wife to a wonderful husband and mother to three boys, my flaws make themselves known and how they are so hard to look it.

My imperfections glare at me.

The insecurity that fills me as I walk and live among other mothers, other women.

The frustration that creeps out as I deal with the challenging situations that crop up.

The impatience that rears its ugly head as I deal with the various temperaments of my kiddos.

The sharpness that comes from my tongue whenever I respond to situations and people.  Not to mention that sarcasm that laces my words when I talk to my children along with the snappish comebacks I give to my husband.

Not good.  Not good at all.


I am full of holes.

It humbles me and makes me realize how much I need my God for help and other people for advice.

These flaws show me where I can't ever boast about how great I am.

This is good.

It shows me that I am human and I need to accept those weaknesses in me along with my strengths.  That as I grow and try to be better, I am okay.

The way I am is who I am and that is enough.

These flaws help me focus on the things I do get right.


Like love.

Love I can do well.

The love for my husband and boys is fierce and strong and unwavering even in the tough times.

The love they have for me is unconditional and forgiving.

The love God has for me is beyond words.

Because of this I love and this love is my strength.

It's what I can give freely.

To all who are around me and to those far away - family, other moms, neighbors, friends.

Though I am flawed in all kinds of ways, this I can do.

And for me...this is enough.

Being me, with all my holes, is enough.

Because being able to love well and deeply makes it so.



Linking up with Just Be Enough this Monday which celebrates you just being you.  









Friday, December 16, 2011

Countdown...

This is the latest piece in the story of Alex and Kayla's which I began here and continues here, here and here.


-------------


Three...two...one...


Three...two...one...


Okay.    Kayla sighed, as she moved her eyes around as she took in her darkness.

She was exhausted.  She was trying.

Kayla baby, hang on.  Hang on.  I love you. 


She could hear Alex's voice.  She had been hearing him for the longest time now.  So comforting yet filled with heartbreak.

He missed her.

Every time she heard his voice, an ache would run through her - deep and gut wrenching.   She missed him just as much.

She would then try to open her eyes but found herself trapped in this darkness.

Along with Alex's voice, she was now hearing other voices: Cameron, Alex's son.  The nurses - she could tell it was them in the way they spoke to Alex.  Marlon - Alex's manager.  Friends, even though there were moments she confused Tracey with Genevieve.  The boys - Seth and Zane - the two-thirds of the jazz trio she belonged to.  She remembered that fact just recently.  That she was a musician.  And a photographer.

Alex's voice made her remember that last fact.  With the sound of voices, came a memory or two, except for the nurses, of course, since she didn't know them at all.

 Kayla, honey, please wake up.  For me.  Sweet girl, please wake up. 


It was Alex again.  His deep tone edged with his New Zealand accent was filled with heartbreak again. It cracked.  He was crying.  Again.

Her heart clenched.

Oh Alex.  I'm trying.  I'm trying. 


She remembered how she would do almost anything for him, she loved him so much.  This was no exception.

Okay.  Another try.

Five...four...three...two...one.  


Kayla strained as she tried to force her eyes open.

Kayla...


Tears threatened behind her eyes.


Alex, I'm trying.  I'm trying.  Almost there.


Almost there. 




This piece is inspired by a prompt from Write on Edge which asks us write a piece of fiction or creative non-fiction about a countdown, starting with “Three, two, one.”




Write On Edge: Red-Writing-Hood