Handle Your Worry

I am quite a bit emotional this morning.  

It started when I read the political news sites.  Why do I do this?  Now I'm feeling down, and coupled with another important incident that happened this morning, I'm feeling worried as well.  

Worried brings on a whole host of emotion.  I'm worried in the grand scheme of things.  What does God want for our lives now?  What if we jump into something and it's the wrong decision?  I truly believe that God can make things clear, there's always the worry that it won't match up to what we (I) want.  Even though God's decision is good for me, I worry I'm going to be unhappy.  

Which is ludicrous because I believe God always has our best interests at heart and being with Him means there's good all around.  It can be a tough life with him and a disciplined life but the results yield good stuff.

This I have a conviction about. 

And yet I worry still.  

Forgive me, Lord.

I'm now going to go make a cup of coffee (sprinkled with lots of cinnamon), maybe step outside and definitely pray some more through these emotions.

A cup of coffee is always good (especially when sprinkled with cinnamon).

Praying to God, infinitely better. 

How do you handle your worry?

First Soccer Game on A Warm Afternoon...

The 6 year old participated in his first soccer game this afternoon.

It was a beautiful afternoon - one huge green field, the mountains bathed in sunlight as the backdrop, temperate weather.

Our boy did well.  He was into it.  And he scored a goal.  His first one. Sweet!

And he blocked a ball from going into the field goal - some good defense.  More importantly, he went up to his friend, after the game, and told him "Good Game".   Most importantly, besides having fun, he reigned in his competitive side.  No tackling the other team members, though he did have a few words for them.

His team lost but all the kids were in good spirits.  They learned more about soccer today.  They had treats/snacks afterwards.

Our boys played around for a bit, rolling down the grassy hill.

Then, we walked back to the car, the mountains in front of us, having spent quality time together as a family on a good afternoon.

Coolness...

Most of All...

An entry from my journal...


I realize as I sit here at 11:47 in the morning that what I want most of all, deep in my bones...that what I'm going to pray for - I mean, in a get-down-on-my-knees pray for - when it comes to my 6 year old is for him to find two best friends this year who like him for who he is and can understand and appreciate him for it.  Two friends who are sincere.

My other prayer is for the 6 year old to become mellow in his reactions (it may take coping mechanisms) and more outwardly focused in his thoughts.  And of course, to take a stand for himself on his own when needed.

It's funny.  This fast that I'm on in the moment - just to prep for bloodwork - is now beginning to clear my mind, now that I've gone past a few intense hunger moments.  3 more hours to go.

This afternoon, after I get my blood drawn, we're headed to a school "meet-and-greet" where the 6 year old will meet his new teacher and see his new classroom.  1st grade here we come.  What a milestone.

I'm still not ready.


Okay, now it's fifteen minutes later and I am emotional - a reaction towards my 6 year old son. We had an exchange.  But I learned something from him, about him.  He does better with short conversations.  No long lectures.  I remember getting advice about that regarding boys - too many words and they just zone out.

Okay.  We both agree.  He'll focus on a person when that person is talking to him and I'll keep my 'lessons' short.

Can I Come Out Now?

It is 6:08p and I'm waiting for The Husband to get home.

My 3 year old has been screaming for the last three minutes, repeatedly, "Mom, can I come out now? Can I come out now?"

No, I think.  Not until your father comes home.  More for my sanity than for your punishment.  I can't handle two tackling boys who refuse to obey right now.  I'm thinking I'll handle that better when your father gets home.  Or at least he can handle it.  Even though he is sick.  Poor thing.  


So in your room is where you will stay.  It's safe.  It's quiet.  I know it's without your brother - which is like punishment to you - but so be it.  You'll see him in about ten minutes when your father gets home.  

There's a minute of silence from the 3 year old, and then he begins again, "Can I come out now?"

I shake my head.

No, I think.  Don't think I can do it.  These feet aren't moving.  I am sure they will move when your father gets home.  Right now they will remain still. 


Look, see.  You're quiet again.  Your brother is too.  


This is good. 


"Can I come out now?  Can I come out now?"  It begins again.

Ahh...now the baby is screeching, joining in your intense chorus.  Lovely.

Just lovely.

Daddy walks in, closing the front door behind him. 

"Daddy!  Can I come out now?"

Awesome.  

Back To The Familiar...

Back in NYC after almost two years.  It feels good to be back so far, minus the taxi dispatcher with an attitude.  Taxi Dispatcher: "You have six!  That cab only seats five!" And she said it again when I was about to walk to another cab.  Mumbling and grumbling under her breath both times.  No "hello" or "Excuse me?"


The baby doesn't count, lady.  He's sitting on my lap. And there are five of us...  Please don't try to make me look stupid when you were slacking and not paying attention to your job.


Ah...my New York attitude is back with a vengeance.

One Saturday...

9:44a

I sit in the car, sipping on a white mocha and listening to classical music and I feel like this is the best thing ever. My shoulders are relaxed and I’m feeling good. I need to remember to give The Husband a hug when I get home for agreeing to let me have this time.

This is officially my writing time - I have set up a weekly schedule and I am beginning to put it into practice. Though, today, I ran behind for couple of reasons - late start, hubby needed to take a shower, a grocery errand run. It becomes very obvious to me that I need to plan better: have the breakfast groceries set the night before; get up earlier and leave the house earlier…

So this week the alloted 2 hours for writing will become 45 minutes. But I live and learn.

What this time alone is causing me to realize too is how important “me” time is. Just the difference an hour to myself makes - I’m a more alert and better Mama. I’ll need to talk to the husband about this. Set up a schedule. I believe he needs some “me” time to. It would make him a happier man and he deserves it. He does an amazing job taking care of his family.

8:56p

Almost twelve hours and one classmate’s birthday party later, the highlights being that my 5 year old became excited over Skee-Ball. It reminded him of bowling and he couldn’t help but play it over and over, and the 3 year old burying his head in my husband’s jacket because he feared Chuck E. Cheese, the Mouse. He was looking over his shoulder the entire time we were at Chuck E Cheese, keeping an eye out for the giant mouse.

Now I sit here listening to the baby cry. It’s painful, moreso because I know he’s not feeling well. He’s congested, has a fever and most likely is finding it hard to sleep because it’s hard to breathe. Usually we let him cry it out but I’m not sure if I will hold to that tonight, as much as I want him to sleep on his own.

He just quieted down somewhat.

The hubby is on his iPad. We’re watching the history channel to his delight. I’m a little preoccupied with my birthday gift that my amazing mother bought me. I just opened the box she sent today. The Nook. What gets me giddy is all the discounted books I can download and have at my fingertips. The bookworm within me shouts for joy. Though, of course, the Nook will never take the place of an actual book in my mind and heart, I do love the convenience of being able to get a book almost instantly.

Nice.

It was a good day. The older boys are sleeping soundly, exhausted. Here’s wishing the same for my sick little one. I think I’m going to go check on him now.

This is a day I had about two weeks ago. It is recorded in my 365 blog journal - a daily journal that I have been keeping to record those daily moments, thoughts and happenings. Feel free to visit.