...I can't believe...
...that I'm one year more than 40. When I was 12, I couldn't see beyond 30
...that I'm a mother of 3 ( I got my 12 year old wish)
...that I'm living in one of the most beautiful places on Earth ( so far from my urban roots)
...that I'm driving now ( a total 180 for me - born and raised on public transportation).
...that I get to do what I love. Write. And pursue a career in it (thanks to a supportive and loving husband)
...that I have a group of family and friends who genuinely care for me
...that I am married to a wonderfully sweet guy who is my best friend and loves me despite of who I am
AND
...that I have a spiritual center that I can turn to at all times and that helps keep me from totally losing it. Totally. Three letters: G-O-D, and he's technically a "who".
On this day of my birth I can sit back (as I'm doing now in my SUV as my infant thankfully sleeps soundly in his car seat. Aaah... 15 quiet minutes to myself!) and count my blessings.
Nice.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
More From My Butterscotch Babies...
It's a new year filled with new times for them...
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tis' the Season to Remember The Special Moments
Reminder to self: in all the chaotic busyness of the holiday season, tis' the time to enjoy and embrace those moments that truly make the season special...
My son and his Kindergarten class singing holiday songs to a group of senior citizens at a senior residence.
The boys keeping track of the days until Santa comes with the Advent Calendar.
Watching my oldest son decorate the tree with his Dad while Christmas music plays in the background.
The Baby's first Christmas stocking. This is Baby's First Christmas, after all.
These special moments are truly what this season is all about.
Of course, I may just have to print this blog entry and carry it with me to remind myself as I'm speeding through the Home Goods store picking up last minute Christmas gifts...
What have been the special moments for you this holiday season?
My son and his Kindergarten class singing holiday songs to a group of senior citizens at a senior residence.
The boys keeping track of the days until Santa comes with the Advent Calendar.
Watching my oldest son decorate the tree with his Dad while Christmas music plays in the background.
The Baby's first Christmas stocking. This is Baby's First Christmas, after all.
These special moments are truly what this season is all about.
Of course, I may just have to print this blog entry and carry it with me to remind myself as I'm speeding through the Home Goods store picking up last minute Christmas gifts...
What have been the special moments for you this holiday season?
Thursday, December 9, 2010
I'll Get To It Next Tuesday...
No really, I will. I promise. I have every good intention to get to those things I promised I'd get to. Such is my life. Between daily school pickups and baby holdings - the little now 9 month old wants to stand now more than anything, which he can't do by himself so I'm constantly holding him. Between nursing sick kids and running to the supermarket. Between typing up PTA minutes and cleaning house. Not to mention writing book reviews, doing laundry - loads of it - and working on my Great American Novel that will bring me a six-figure advance and make it so my hubby can retire and spend more time with me and the kids...
This is why our roofing project is taking months to even begin. As the roofing guy calls me every other day inquiring, I've constantly found myself thinking over the last several months as I'm scurrying around fulfilling the daily duties, "I'll get to it. I promise. By next Tuesday - the latest." Of course, next Tuesday comes and goes. And so does the Tuesday after that, and so on. And next thing you know it's been four months. Waiting for the check from the insurance company, finally getting the check, set to hand it over a week later to our roofing company when I glance at said check and it has the wrong information on it (why didn't I notice this two weeks ago?) so we have to send it back to the insurance company in order for them to reissue the check. More weeks of waiting as the roofing company guy calls in every two days. The check finally arrives and we have to get it endorsed by the bank that our mortgage is with. Unfortunately the only office that exists in Colorado that can do that is about 90 minutes south of us. And it goes on...a roofing project that was set to begin in early summer still hasn't begun. Now I've got to find the number to the roofing guy - it's been awhile since he has ceased to call me. He might have given up on us.
Between all of that...there are the details of daily life. Only so many hours which is why things take longer to do...not just the roofing project...but the clothing project - whereby I gather all the clothes in our house, organize, launder and give half of it away...and the garage project - whereby hubby and I go through the "stuff" in our garage to make room for the car to actually park in it - what a novel idea?...the painting project - whereby we paint our living room the beautiful light gray color we've chosen 5 months ago -- the gray sample is still painted on one wall surrounded by the original color...and the PTA minutes that were due two weeks ago...
And now the holidays are looming...with an additional set of tasks to do... and people are threatening to visit...I really don't have the time to wait until next Tuesday, even though the To- Do List hasn't gotten any shorter.
Ah...if only Santa could come to our house so the kids can sit on his lap while Santa's assistant snaps a picture for the grandparents as we go shopping for holiday gifts and the tree right in our garage next store and decorate the house full on and send those recently purchased gifts to family far away at the post office next to our garage (I can only wish!), and hire a chauffeur to pick up my kids from school, and an assistant to help me manage the family administrative duties, there's a good chance that I could possibly get things done by next Tuesday...
Ah...I can dream can't I?
Okay...please share...how do you do it all?
This is why our roofing project is taking months to even begin. As the roofing guy calls me every other day inquiring, I've constantly found myself thinking over the last several months as I'm scurrying around fulfilling the daily duties, "I'll get to it. I promise. By next Tuesday - the latest." Of course, next Tuesday comes and goes. And so does the Tuesday after that, and so on. And next thing you know it's been four months. Waiting for the check from the insurance company, finally getting the check, set to hand it over a week later to our roofing company when I glance at said check and it has the wrong information on it (why didn't I notice this two weeks ago?) so we have to send it back to the insurance company in order for them to reissue the check. More weeks of waiting as the roofing company guy calls in every two days. The check finally arrives and we have to get it endorsed by the bank that our mortgage is with. Unfortunately the only office that exists in Colorado that can do that is about 90 minutes south of us. And it goes on...a roofing project that was set to begin in early summer still hasn't begun. Now I've got to find the number to the roofing guy - it's been awhile since he has ceased to call me. He might have given up on us.
Between all of that...there are the details of daily life. Only so many hours which is why things take longer to do...not just the roofing project...but the clothing project - whereby I gather all the clothes in our house, organize, launder and give half of it away...and the garage project - whereby hubby and I go through the "stuff" in our garage to make room for the car to actually park in it - what a novel idea?...the painting project - whereby we paint our living room the beautiful light gray color we've chosen 5 months ago -- the gray sample is still painted on one wall surrounded by the original color...and the PTA minutes that were due two weeks ago...
And now the holidays are looming...with an additional set of tasks to do... and people are threatening to visit...I really don't have the time to wait until next Tuesday, even though the To- Do List hasn't gotten any shorter.
Ah...if only Santa could come to our house so the kids can sit on his lap while Santa's assistant snaps a picture for the grandparents as we go shopping for holiday gifts and the tree right in our garage next store and decorate the house full on and send those recently purchased gifts to family far away at the post office next to our garage (I can only wish!), and hire a chauffeur to pick up my kids from school, and an assistant to help me manage the family administrative duties, there's a good chance that I could possibly get things done by next Tuesday...
Ah...I can dream can't I?
Okay...please share...how do you do it all?
Monday, November 22, 2010
Be Still...
"Can't you just be still?" I ask my 5 year old as his legs swing back and forth in a frenzy as he sits on the couch. His feet are hitting the bottom of the couch as I lean against it and it's driving me a little crazy. This is not the first time I've asked him to be still. When he's running (or galloping) back and forth from the family room to the dining room for what seems like the hundreth time, I ask him the same thing. The constant, sometimes frenzied moment drives me a little batty. I can't concentrate. Too many movements going on.
It's like he can't help it. In different moments when I ask him, he just gives me this look as his arms are swinging back and forth or he's twirling in a circle, as if to say "I can't help it. I can't be still."
I will sometimes even test him. "Can you be still for a moment? Let me see you be still. Let's try it." And he tries it, but he can only hold that body of his still for a minute, before his arm starts to twitch or his head starts to move up and down again.
The rare times that he is still? When he is watching something on t.v. that he is really interested in or when he is concentrating on a task that he is working on. When he is focused.
The same applies to my 3 year old.
As I watch both their constant, frenzied movements today -- I think of myself. Though physically I am still for moments throughout the day, even a couple of hours as I sit on the floor with my 8 month old or while I'm driving back and forth in the car, I'm not still, really. My mind is constantly racing and my emotions are going as fast as my mind as they spike up and down as I react to the different situations that I find myself in.
I am reminded of a biblical scripture. God talking to his people and telling them to "Be still and know that I am God." The implication (in my mind) being that He is big and can handle anything, from the simplest of your worries to the grandest of your problems. Be still and reflect on me. The solution will come. The very act of reflecting requires focus and in order to be truly focused one needs to be still.
It dawns on me that I am not still enough to be focused. Maybe when I'm writing my blog or updating my Facebook page or writing an email. Basically, when I'm writing or posting on my computer. That is when I'm not just physically still, but mentally and emotionally still as well because I am so focused. And yet I that's not truly still, is it? True stillness requires a little bit more, I believe.
I think when I am reading a book, I almost reach that place of true stillness because I am the most relaxed and the most content.
Is God looking at me like I look at my two older boys? Does he wish to say "Too much movement, Melanie. Just relax."
The difference...my boys are kids with boundless energy. They need a couple of outlets. Also, it's joyful movement in opposed to my frenzied movement which can stem from worry or just "doing, doing, doing" all the time. The city girl in me expects to be in constant motion. After all I grew up in an urban surrounding of constant movement (i.e. rushing people, speeding subways, etc.) Not that there's anything wrong with "doing" or moving. There's a sense of accomplishment when we're doing the tasks set before us on a daily basis, and completing them.
Yet, there's an amazing benefit to just being still. In a relaxed way.
There's that laser focus one gets to partake in. You get to witness and see what's really before you (or within you) when you are still. In my case, I get to connect with my surroundings, with words, with others, with myself, with God. I get to experience contentment.
Moments of stillness can be so good.
Right now I'm picturing those moments when we, my family of five of are lying cuddled against each other in The Parents bed on a Sunday morning or when I'm just sitting on the back patio, surrounded by quiet, looking towards the mountains.
Perfect, utter stillness.
Feels so good even in this moment as I sit here on the floor...
...moments before the 5 year old gallops by me being pulled by the 3 year old from the family room to the dining room.
It's like he can't help it. In different moments when I ask him, he just gives me this look as his arms are swinging back and forth or he's twirling in a circle, as if to say "I can't help it. I can't be still."
I will sometimes even test him. "Can you be still for a moment? Let me see you be still. Let's try it." And he tries it, but he can only hold that body of his still for a minute, before his arm starts to twitch or his head starts to move up and down again.
The rare times that he is still? When he is watching something on t.v. that he is really interested in or when he is concentrating on a task that he is working on. When he is focused.
The same applies to my 3 year old.
As I watch both their constant, frenzied movements today -- I think of myself. Though physically I am still for moments throughout the day, even a couple of hours as I sit on the floor with my 8 month old or while I'm driving back and forth in the car, I'm not still, really. My mind is constantly racing and my emotions are going as fast as my mind as they spike up and down as I react to the different situations that I find myself in.
I am reminded of a biblical scripture. God talking to his people and telling them to "Be still and know that I am God." The implication (in my mind) being that He is big and can handle anything, from the simplest of your worries to the grandest of your problems. Be still and reflect on me. The solution will come. The very act of reflecting requires focus and in order to be truly focused one needs to be still.
It dawns on me that I am not still enough to be focused. Maybe when I'm writing my blog or updating my Facebook page or writing an email. Basically, when I'm writing or posting on my computer. That is when I'm not just physically still, but mentally and emotionally still as well because I am so focused. And yet I that's not truly still, is it? True stillness requires a little bit more, I believe.
I think when I am reading a book, I almost reach that place of true stillness because I am the most relaxed and the most content.
Is God looking at me like I look at my two older boys? Does he wish to say "Too much movement, Melanie. Just relax."
The difference...my boys are kids with boundless energy. They need a couple of outlets. Also, it's joyful movement in opposed to my frenzied movement which can stem from worry or just "doing, doing, doing" all the time. The city girl in me expects to be in constant motion. After all I grew up in an urban surrounding of constant movement (i.e. rushing people, speeding subways, etc.) Not that there's anything wrong with "doing" or moving. There's a sense of accomplishment when we're doing the tasks set before us on a daily basis, and completing them.
Yet, there's an amazing benefit to just being still. In a relaxed way.
There's that laser focus one gets to partake in. You get to witness and see what's really before you (or within you) when you are still. In my case, I get to connect with my surroundings, with words, with others, with myself, with God. I get to experience contentment.
Moments of stillness can be so good.
Right now I'm picturing those moments when we, my family of five of are lying cuddled against each other in The Parents bed on a Sunday morning or when I'm just sitting on the back patio, surrounded by quiet, looking towards the mountains.
Perfect, utter stillness.
Feels so good even in this moment as I sit here on the floor...
...moments before the 5 year old gallops by me being pulled by the 3 year old from the family room to the dining room.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
A Spontaneous Moment
This past Friday night, hubby and I and our oldest son - the 5 year old - were playing around, trying to sit on each others laps. Hubby sat down on chair in front of computer, I sat on hubby and then our oldest sat on my lap. We were stacked like a couple of blocks. I then thought wouldn't this make a funny picture but I couldn't get to my camera, being "stacked" between the boys as I was. Looking at the computer, I realized that it had a cool feature called "Photo Booth". So I activated it, and using our Macbook's built in web cam, starting taking pictures. My 5 year old thought that this was the coolest most hilarious thing because not only did the computer "take" our picture (with virtual flashbulb), after each picture you could see the actual photo taken, like in a real life photo booth. And so my 5 year old went crazy and pushed the button and the Macbook took picture after picture...and of course we started going a little nuts striking poses and making faces. Who cared that we weren’t prepped to take photos with our wild, mussy hair and extremely casual clothes. We even pulled the 3 year old son into the fun. And few seconds later, I stepped out and then came back with our 8 month old son, and the fun continued and would have continued if it hadn't been time for bed. It was such a good time.
There was lots of laughter and funny faces, which in the moment warmed my heart because I realized that for the last several weeks had been a mostly stressful, serious time for our family. The 5 year old has been dealing with rejection, teasing, meanness and loneliness at school while I've been dealing with being overwhelmed and tired with all the motherhood and household duties along with financial stresses and school worries (due to my son's stresses) and dear hubby was dealing with the same issues as me just replace family business with with heavy work responsibility. A mainly serious time marked with anxiety, short tempers, frustration and a bit of crying (from both kiddos and The Mommy).
That moment - our “photo session” - was the first time in awhile that wasn't marked with worries, frustration or discouragement. A pure fun time. Just 5 minutes of stress-free pure happy.
So much fun to hear sincere, boisterous laughter coming from my 5 year old and to see my 3 year make the funny poses (he was cracking himself up) with his magnetic school box and to see huge grins on the faces of The Parents (as seen through the photos we took). Mommy and Daddy are smiling. Really, smiling. Wow! The little 8 month old just took it all in stride, as he usually does.
In the midst of the serious busyness of our life we had a spontaneous five minute moment of pure, unalduterated joy.
Nice.
Here’s hoping for more of these moments. We need them.
Have you had any spontaneous moments of joy lately? What were they? Please share, because I would love to hear them. Mine warmed my heart, I’m sure hearing yours will do the same.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Keeping Up with My 365 Project...
Funny how time just flies. And how challenging it can be to keep up with a project you've committed to. My 365 Project continues (I'm impressed that I'm still hanging in there)...below are a few new favorites that I just posted to my 365 album on Facebook. More "beautiful accidents"...
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